Pages

Saturday, January 30, 2010

The Best of All Times

Sometimes life is just funny. You're sitting there in your roller coaster seat enjoying the scenery when the lights dim and your little canoe slides gently into a dark tunnel. Your ears prick up and you feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.

Okay, I love the drama, don't you? What happened to me this week was that I found out that I have a 4 cm paraganglioma that has to come out. Surgery scheduled, plans rearranged and scuttled, major turbulence. Lots of opportunity for deep thoughts and examination of priorities.

Lots of lovingly talking to my carotid artery and vagus nerve where the mump has taken up residence. Always carry your iPhone with you into the doctor's office so you can get cool shots of your CAT scans and such for your journal. You can use them again on Dia De Los Muertos. I think my skeleton is very beautiful. I just stare at it and try to grasp the miracle of how our bodies do all that they do.

You wouldn't believe how much time you can burn reading everything any doctor has ever written concerning your malady. That's how I operate. Go online and scare yourself silly imagining all that could go wrong.

I've raised 2 daughters just like me so we get a good flap going in the hen house and then eventually settle ourselves down. It could always be worse. It could always even be worse than that.

My friend Paula McNamee turned me onto this; Rollataq adhesive. When she described it I couldn't imagine how it worked but now that I've tried it I love it, especially for gluing larger sheets of paper in my journal. It is much cleaner and faster than the gel I usually use and you don't have to swish out a brush afterward or clean the gel off your finger.

Look what's getting ready to pop just outside my front door. I'm bringing these in now to force in the warm studio; I'm headed in there now to amuse myself painting on cardboard and plaster. Only 2 more pages to go in the face book -yay! I'll check in again soon.

52 comments:

nollyposh said...

Good~Luck Judy i hope all goes well for you (My neighbors son had one removed not so very long ago from his neck & he was in & out of hospital same day & with no complications) X:-)

Coleen said...

thank goodness yours is not malignant.......altho I know all too well the rollercoaster ride....my dear husband was diagnosed with sarcoma in july 2009...in dec. 2009 (3 days before our daughters wedding) it was confirmed that it had gone to both lungs.....we are praying for a miracle!

Melanie said...

Judy, you will be in my thoughts and prayers. I am sorry ... but I know all will be well. You have a ton of support ... family, friends ... and even those of us you don't really know.

Ocean Lotus said...

you, your health, your family and friends, both physically present and ones from the blogworld will be wishing you a speedy, restful, healthy recovery....

katie said...

and you never let on to me that you were anything but calm...don't think you fooled me, love, i knew you behind the curtain were scaring yourself silly online.

and yes, you do have a very beautiful bones, eternal bones.

xox

Deb's Artful Journey said...

Sending you golden wishes for an easy time of it.

karen from creativetherapy said...

good luck Judy, I'll be thinking of you and checking to make sure you're ok.

Ro Bruhn said...

Sending you some healing energy from Oz Judy, I'm sure everything will be OK. Think positive thoughts and you're half way there. I too always look at the worst case scenario, convinced it's the end, then work back from there. It seems to work.
Love your skeletal photos.

Jacky said...

Sending warm and healing energy from Australia also...
Take care and thanks for sharing your journal pages, even when you are going through such an emotional time.

Jacky

Buffy said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I do the same thing scare myself,I don't know why I do it. Then I get bad anxiety from it. Your art is beautiful.Let us know how everything goes.

rebecca said...

just like you judy to speak of journals, new adhesives and unexpected cell intruders seamlessly in the same post as if not skipping a beat.

but i can hear your heart from here.
a beautiful heart to go along with those beautiful bones.

holding you in love.
xoxoxoxox,
r

Sherry said...

I hope that everything turns out okay and I know that art journaling will help you while you're on the canoe ride.
BTW, what incredible presence of mind to snap shots of the screens!

Kelly Snelling_Soulhumming.typepad.com said...

here is my voice that i carried with me when i had surgery (i'm giving this voice to you to carry with you as your own). it says but one thing and that one thing is this "everything will be fine no matter what." it says this a lot, "everything will be fine no matter what." it says it whenever necessary. it says this before any worry can start. it is good to settle you down. and with this voice i am sending you much love and light and powerful blessings of healing and joy. let this opportunity show you how much you love and are loved (although i am sure you know these wonderful gifts already. it is a useful message to bathe in again and again). big kiss!

femminismo said...

Another small bump on the road of life, I dearly hope and pray. You will be well with that square strong chin and those lovely strong shoulder bones to hold you up. Smell the daphne and think about the pleasant future.

Pilar said...

I am keeping you and yours in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you all love and light. xoxoxoxo

drmarty62 said...

Oh Judy, what a shock. My thoughts with you. May your surgeon's hands be steady and eyes focused and may your body's healing powers be in tip top form. Hang in there.

pookieville said...

sending big hugs.
xo

dosfishes said...

Prayers with you, incredible courage in your photos of your skull and moving through the journal with this kind of news.

Move the breath through you for peace and healing.

Catherine Denton said...

So sorry to hear that. Anything wrong with our health is difficult. I will be praying for you. I love how you used those images in your art.
Winged Writer

Kim Mailhot said...

Judy, you are literally beautiful inside and out! How you to take those images and play with them so well. The pages and the process you obviously went through while creating them is awesome. Celebrating the unbelievable work of art that are our bodies...
Love you and sending pink unicorn ju-ju to you in abundance !

fromthepines said...

Judy, Sending good thoughts your way...

Cheryl

LK said...

Thinking of you and sending love and light your way! I will keep you in my prayers. All will be well.

I agree with Katie, your bones are beautiful!

I admire your presence of mind to take photos of your films. I would have only thought of it later!
xo

julie king said...

praying for a quick surgery, recovery and return to your creative world! i had a benign tumor removed from one of my parathyroid glands a few years ago. it was amazing how quickly and painlessly the incision healed.

((hugs))

Amy said...

oh gosh, no fun! but i'll be sending good and healing thoughts your direction and i know all will be well soon. you are brave and true. and your skeleton is every bit as gorgeous as the outside of you! xo amy

Anonymous said...

Dear Judy,
your bones are beautiful but your heart has got your bones beat.....sending prayers of comfort and strength your way.
missy from the bayou

Julie said...

Best of luck, Judy.. I am happy you have posted this. I have an MRI scheduled for the 8th.. Your positive spin on something that can be scary really helped me this morning.

xo

liz elayne lamoreux said...

holding you in my heart dear girl...
(and remembering the importance of the mantra i have been using during this pregnancy and my own stuff: google is not a doctor. hee, hee. next time you want to google, call me and i will tell you about the next idea i am cooking up.)

xoxoxo

misty mawn said...

i know exactly how to scare myself crazy from reading other stories online... it's the worst place to go for information sometimes, isn't it!!!
but with all the love, wishes, prayers, thoughts, cares out there for YOU, you will be protected and everything will be okay!
keeping you in my warmest thoughts. xoxooxxo

Clare Wassermann said...

I know it's eminently treatable so stay positive if you can and I know you will be fine x

gretchen said...

keeping you in my prayers, dear Judy.
Your scans have confirmed what we have known all along: that you have the ability to take a "negative" (literally) and make it a positive; you are beautiful through and through and we love you.
big hugs and xoxo, gretchen

peggy said...

Judy, your in my thoughts and prayers. I scare myself too by looking up things on the internet and my daughters and I "flap" too until we get it out of our system and scare ourselves to death. Please let us know, we love ya. Peggy

Sharon Lovejoy said...

Oh my goodness, how the hen house must've clucked over this one.

Know that we all will be sending you positive and healing energy.

One of my closest friends had this and I worried so, but all turned out well in a day. I hope the same for you, our creative hen.

Love,

Sharon Lovejoy Writes from Sunflower House and a Little Green Island

Kelly Kilmer said...

Sending much, much love. Be well. Stay sane. XO.

Robbie said...

Sending well wishes your way. I love how you incorporated your scan into your journal. Clearly art is in your bones!

Carla Sonheim said...

xoxoxo to you, Judy!

Tyggereye said...

I'm so sorry to hear that you need surgery. Your blog post did make me laugh. You have to see the good in the gorgeous page you made after getting the cool iphone shot of your CAT scan. I will be reminding you for day of the dead to use it again. lol. Google is never your friend when you have a malady. NEVER. or if your kids do or anyone you know. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. I will be sending good thoughts your way and thinking of you. I hope that you are up and 100% pumping out kicking cool art pages that I can oogle over as soon as possible!! :)

gina

kluless said...

I'm so sorry to hear you have this challenge ahead. Just remember, the things the doctors are doing are FOR you and not TO you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Be strong!

kelly rae said...

judy, even in this. even in this you are light. i mean, really. i am sending eons and truckloads full of wishes and calm. i know it must not be easy holding all of this, but we are all here lifting you up. you are deeply deeply loved....every bone of that lovely skeleton of yours:)
big big love,
kelly rae

pancho villa said...

LOVE
LOVE
LOVE

Glenda said...

Judy, Wishing you a speedy, restful, healthy recovery and loads of thoughts and prayers coming your way from me here in Australia....

Joanie Hoffman said...

life's sucker punches, gotta love 'em, or at least accept them, I guess. lots of my best thoughts to you. happy days, joanie

BJ Lantz said...

Well, geez, Judy, that's a pain in the neck, eh? (pun fully intended :-) I know what you mean about the roller coaster recently having been on a medical test one myself involving my pancreas (seems everything is actually OK, however I may have to give up drinking - horrors!!)

Please know I'm thinking of you, Sistah.

XO ~Beej

paperbird said...

sending prayers your way.

Tracey said...

Oh dear Judy, I'm sorry to hear of your troubles. I know they will pass and your depth and gratitude for life will be further enriched. I pray the transition from dark to light is effortless for you and your beloved. Sending tranquil, healing vibes your way. xoxoxo

vintage moon studio said...

Sending boatloads of healing thoughts and energy...
looking forward to being a part of your doll workshop at Artful Journey this July ~ Deb

Sarah said...

Oh that doesn't sound too much fun. Hope your treatment goes really well. I laughed at what you wrote about always carrying your i-phone so you can get a shot of your x-ray!

And so it goes... said...

Think of yourself as the Poster Child of Paraganglioma Excision! This is a mere blip on the radar. You'll be back in the saddle before you know it, full of life and ornery fun, journaling all about it... Happy healing!
xoxo deb/debbie/debra

BloggingQueen said...

Just one more person wishing you a safe, easy and total recovery from this paragangly-what's-its-name. (I am not dignifying it with its proper name. So there.)
I'm also the type to overdose on information, hyperventilate and then drop it. Because what else can you do, besides operating on it yourself? which I would not recommend.
See, you're laughing already. God bless you.

Maija said...

Be well dear friend!!!

Lynn said...

I was a hen in your hen house flapping my wings so much I could not finish reading what you wrote once I saw the words need of surgery. I had to go away for a while to digest your news.I have a friend who always tells me she will do my worrying for me so I don't have to. I'd like to take yours from you as I do it so darn well. All that said to now say I am praying for the kind of speedy and successful, healthful outcome that several of your followers have had with the same thing. Visualizing you back at your drawing table, good as new, in record time and feeling fit as a fiddle! Be well, be well, be well!!! Now I can go finish reading the post! ;-0

lynda Howells said...

Hi judy..l am late to this post but just wanted to check how you were now. my husband had 3 of these on his neck a few years ago. In and out of hospital in 2 days and the dressings changed by district nurse ect. Hope by now you kn ow when or you may have already had the op. Anyway..fingers crosses and l am sending you some white healing light to keep you calm and safe.
Love the page by the way.
I had back surgery a few years ago to place rods ect into my lower spine..those CT scans and x-rays went straight into my art work!!xthinking of youxxlynda

Loretta a/k/a Mrs. Pom said...

Prayers and good thoughts for an swift recuperation and back to art!