The Rain

Woke up yesterday with this image in my mind; I think it will be easy for you to know where it came from. I am very busy now through the holidays but will try to keep you posted. Love each other and eat cookies!

All Is Well

Thank you, my beautiful friends (you know who you are) for your kind and loving messages. All is well. The nest is safe. Mama hen was up all night with cotton in her ears, keeping watch during the howling gale. Anxiety disorder hurts. Perhaps we are the sentrys for the race.

I feel very emotional and touched this morning by the amount of comfort that comes through the contact we can form over the internet. It is really a miracle. I do not feel alone and that is good. Thank you all again.

(this painting was done last night just as the winds began to howl. I thought if I could paint I would be distracted. It is 8x10".)

Completed Journal Page

We are supposed to have another windstorm this evening. They unnerve me. I get weird enough in the winter without the weather; everything seems magnified and tragic this time of year. Whenever I feel the fear creeping up on me I know it is time to stop all worldly participation and take stock; meditate, watch the rain drip off the eves, curl up in a ball and let a short time out make me whole again and ready to return. Nothing soothes me as much as nature. When the war is too terrible, the deaths of the innocents too much to bear any longer, I retreat into nature and remember that the trees, the moss, the rain will all endure. I love the earth like my own mother and she always comforts me. No matter what we foolish and selfish humans do to her, she will endure. She is better than the savages she has spawned.

In this unusual state of mind (for me) I asked myself if this blog wasn't just a pathetic cry for attention (look at my art! you must!). And then a couple of lovely emails arrived from people who took comfort in words I said and I thought that maybe it doesn't matter if I am imperfect, weird, sometimes afraid, sometimes overbearing. That what matters is that sometimes my intentions help.

Winter is the time of the shadow for me. The wind howls, illusions appear and seem convincing enough, the spirit is tested. So forgive me this indulgence, or be glad that I finally let the mask slip for a moment. But just now, with the lights lit and the affluent children eager for new toys, I feel a little off, a little sad and in need of renewal. And it will come I know. It always does.

Journal Pages

Today I worked awhile and played awhile. Whenever I find myself not quite ready to start a new project I get out my journal and putter. I see what that will lead to; what that will tell me about what is on my mind and in my heart. The layout above was created from a computer generated collage (well, generated by the computer and me - the computer couldn't have done it without me) and a whole lot of multi-media messing around. It is in shades of my favorite color (yellow) but slightly to the cool, linen side of the shade which fits my mood today. I am thinking of southern Spain, of the moorish influence on the art and of the beautiful madonnas and tilework I will see there. The art from this part of the world has always influenced me; the exotic veilings, hidden harems, latticey windows and dark mystery. It draws me to admire and to wonder.


Yesterday I was in a pink mood and I created this layout. After I did it my mind wandered to the saying that all paintings are self-portraits. I asked myself what about this girl could refer to me and then thought about how important my purse is in my life. All my stuff is in there; identification, money, bank accounts, lists and notations, curious art supplies, secrets and sundry flotsam. It is the one thing I want to have with me when I lock myself out of the house or my car (please don’t ask). With the purse I have the keys, the phone, the entertainment, the ability to summon help. Also this lady is hiding behind her sunglasses, much in the way I have always hidden behind my work, my blog, the ample skirts of my big sister. I am a big ham and still shy at the same time. So yes, I can see how I have unwittingly created aspects of my self in this collage.


This is what the entire 2 pages looks like of the pink spread. I usually do one major page next to a minor page unless I am just in the mood to rattle on with no artwork. Since I paint so much in the studio I am not compelled to create as much art in my journal. For many years it was a written journal only but when you create a visual pertaining to your life you do unleash the magic and often find inspiration for the next “big one”. So I try to make time for that too.

Winter's Comforts

Here is Hermanito keeping watch on the fire. Sometimes he gets so close to the very hot cast iron that I have to catch my breath. He is 17 years old as near as we can figure and he wont even go outside now unless one of us is with him to insure his safety. We live in an area of prowling Toms and dear Hermo knows he is no match for any of them. In the summertime he will "help" John in the garden but this time of year he won't leave his spot by the stove for anything but food. Smart cat.
This is a composite photo of one corner of my studio; the one with the little wood stove. Dont worry; the photo is deceiving. The stool on the right is actually smaller because of the splicing of the photos and it is not sitting dangerously close to the stove. Behind it is a ceramic piece by the local ceramic artist Deb Norby. Some years ago she was the artist in residence at the Oregon College of Art and Craft. I was studying ceramics then too. Here is a close up of her piece called "Kabob". I really enjoy it.

After I shot these I continued my wander through the house. Here is a shot of the top of a chest that sits by the entrance. The drawing of my daughter is over 20 years old and was sketched off quickly on a sheet of typing paper as she dozed. Amazingly, the paper has not degraded although I am sure it was of the cheapest kind.

Kim Murton of Vancouver did the two little ceramic faces and John Taylor of Seattle did the big face jug.
The wall doll and milagro cross were collected somewhere in our travels in the southwest or Mexico, I no longer recall which.

As I write this John is out in the kitchen cooking Urud Dal (spicy Indian soup with asophedida and peppers). He came in with these enormous beets (wine glass for scale only - ha ha) and said to tell my blog that the mighty hunter went out into the darkness with his blunderbuss and returned home with this "game". So tonite it's soup, squash and beets. Nice visiting with you. If you live in the northern hemisphere, keep warm. If you live in the equatorial or southern climes, well you lucky dogs, enjoy your paradise.

Cook turkey or create new journal?

Oh, carumba my friends, does this happen to you? You have a house full of people coming for Thanksgiving, a huge menu to prepare, a house to clean and a list of chores to be done and then like a thunderbolt the muse is upon you like a seductive lover demanding to be wooed. Why does my best inspiration occur when I should be doing other things?

This is the new journal I put together last night when I should have been cleaning my studio for tomorrow's and Sunday's guests. First I had to put away the acrylic journal covers that were left over from the workshop. Aye, aye aye, just handling those journal covers made me want to make a journal. Really, really bad. I could not resist. You know the rest. Wet glue, hurry, hurry, feeling guilty, can't stop. My best projects go like this.

This is the back of the journal. I made a collage in PhotoElements and then printed it on a full sheet of transfer paper. Ironed that onto an old sheet (wrinkles because it was my first time and I didn't iron the sheet first because of my haste) and gelled it onto the acrylic cover.

This is what the front and back covers looked like attached to the canvas spine. The signatures will go in next. I love how rigid the acrylic makes the journal. Everything glues to it fantastically.
This view shows how the tissue I used inside and outside makes a translucent layer that shows both sides at once. Like looking through jello or encaustic. I woke up at 2 a.m. thinking the technique with the layers of tissue on acrylic was so novel that I should write it up for Cloth, Paper, Scissors but I know I have too much on my plate to do that. There is just so much you can do with acrylic panels!!
This is the inside of the covers showing the inside of the spine. Next I will sew in the signatures.
This is the spine of the finished book. I sewed a chinese coin in the upper spine (it doesn't show very well). That coin was an Artfest trade so thank you, anonymous giver, it was the perfect thing for this journal.

Oh *%$#@!!! I hear DH out in the kitchen running water while I madly type away in here. He must think I've lost my marbles to be on the computer with time running out. Wheeee, I love being an artist. Catch you later.

With a Full Heart

If you are an artist or just love to play with paint I advise you to get on the mailing list for the all day art retreats held at Diane Havnen-Smith's studio. Diane is a new best friend (no kidding) that I met only 2 months ago and with whom I have formed a close bond. When she asked me to teach at her studio I had certain reservations; first being that I dont teach (period) and second that I didn't know if I could commit to something so far out of my comfort zone. I love the way life dangles these opportunities in front of us as though testing our trust and faith in our fellow sister. I am so grateful that I took the chance. Diane has given me one of the happiest weekends I can remember and she is an amazing human facilitator of joy. We in Portland are so lucky to have this resource. One of these workshops may just be the thing that will spark a fire within you that will change your life. It happened to me.

One of Diane's many many skills is culinary; this is the delicious lunch she served. You are looking at Green Chili Sour Cream Enchiladas with cruditie vegetable salad and chipotle sauce. It tasted even better than it looks if that is possible. Really wonderful after several hours of all out art creation.

And here are the Pumpkin Bars with Cream Cheese icing that she served for dessert. Oh, and yes, we had chocolate too.

I wish I had more pictures of the participants and of the art they created. Diane took such terrific photographs of everyone that I sort of fell down on the job and I want to post this right now. So these photographs that follow are the few I came away with. If I get emails of additional art I will post them later. Many of my photos were too blurry to use; I was so excited that I made them out of focus.

This first one is of a reverse painting that has as its basis an image stamped from a rubber stamp. The painting was done by Katie Kendrick and I love the colors she has chosen. The painting will be viewed from the other side of the transparent substrate but I think you can already tell it is going to be beautiful.

"Olivia" was painted by Darci Roloff Keefer. She painted it on clear acrylic sheet (mylar) and then backed it with black matboard. This was originally going to be a class about painting faces but in the end each person painted what they wanted to. I think it's always more important to follow your own heart than to follow the rules.

The persimmons were painted by Laura Roloff and you are looking at the back side of the mylar. I just look at her creamy, yummy brush strokes and want to get in the studio myself. I really like the way she followed the form of the fruit with her brush.

This painting was done by Jayne Stamm. She experimented with layers of paint and pulled off this wonderful abstract. Love the color palette and all the inventive shapes.

Cynthia Mooney painted a self-portrait that I think looks just like her. She is an experienced artist and knew exactly what to do with the assignment. I think the likeness is wonderful.

This is the last of my presentable photographs of the paintings that were produced. I think Diane will post more at the innerstandings website. This face was also painted by the talented Laura Roloff. She handled the values of flesh tones better than I can; she could have taught the class!

For 2 nights I slept in the Queen's bedroom at Diane's house and along with the fabulous Katie Kendrick we had a 3 day girlie slumber party and talk-fest that was out-of-this-world fun. When we woke up on Sunday morning there was fluffy pumpkin pancakes to enjoy; Diane whips the eggs whites separately to get the light texture. Oh, I hate to brag but I have seldom been pampered like this. Maybe if you are a teacher reading this you will want to teach at Diane's venue.

The last picture is one of Katie and I clowning around with our cameras. For some reason we decided to take self portraits by holding our cameras out at arms length and shooting our own faces. Katie is teaching at Diane's 0n January 27th; a class in mixed media titled, "Feminine Icon" that you can read about here. Katie is going to have a table at Artfest in March and I am too; we are both excited to think about teaching at various venues around the country in the coming year. The travel is fun, the women are wonderful and full of life and it is just the most precious way to spend the valuable time we have on this planet.

I am still absorbing all the lessons I have learned this weekend from the women I met. My only regret was that we didn't have more time to share portfolios, dreams, wishes and backgrounds. I believe every single woman who creates can support and further the progress of the rest of us; all we have to do is figure out a way to connect and share our enthusiasm. If only we could spread our virus of love and inclusion to the politicians; what a wonderful world we could create. Well, until that happens, hold those dreams closely and reach out to your support group. Thank you sincerely to the group (10 of us!) who came together at Diane's and who dared to share the adventure. It was a dream of heaven and I hope to meet each of you again down the road.

Fall Deepens

We've had our first frosts and enough rain to drown a rat. All the leaves are coming down and the colors are still achingly beautiful across the meadow. I shot a few photos around the place; John is planting garlic and fava beans for a winter crop and everything looks quite bedraggled but there is beauty in that too so I thought I'd share.

This pepper bush outside the front door has been the most luscious color for weeks now. The peppers are too hot to eat but the color is welcome in the fall and reminds me of my beloved Mexico.

All the leaves are off of the grape vines that are growing wild up through the rhody bushes revealing dozens of clusters of plump, sweet grapes. Despite the frost they still taste good and no doubt could be made into that sweet ice wine that Germany is famous for. I had it once at a tasting and found it to be my favorite.

The blueberry bushes are a flaming red surrounded by gladiolas foliage, iris and cannas. I love the colors and textures of these perennials that have supplied us with flowers all summer. And berries. So much to appreciate. I wish I could share with you the fragrance of the wood chips as they smell in the cool, damp weather. It is a sweet, clean smell that is full of life.

This is what remains of the lemon cucumber crop after the vines and leaves have all rotted away and left the fruit lying on a carpet of purple plum leaves. They will seed this area for years to come.
My favorite squash set out to dry; the wonderful buttercup. It grows in a flattened shape and the flesh is sweet and brilliant orange. We bake it cut into pieces in a glass dish with a bit of water in the bottom. I never butter it or add any condiments. I like to eat it with soup so that I can spoon up a bit of soft squash and then dip my spoon into the soup. It melts across the tongue and supplies your body with life enhancing vitamins. It tastes like pumpkin pie.

Please dont hate us; we still have tomatoes. This is how we make our salsa cruda; with serrano chilis, red onions, Orenco Gold tomatoes and lime juice. Lotsa salt. Corn chips. Negro Modelo.

The scarlet tree behind the meadow across the road. A few weeks ago this meadow was dead and gone, it's so good to see the nice grass returning for the goats that live there.

I stretched 6 canvases yesterday and feel motivated to paint now. The workshop I'll be teaching is only a little more than a week away so that is on my mind.

It will be a good Thanksgiving this year, with much to celebrate. We will have checks and balances again in our government and hopefully a more dignified level of discourse. I also want to send out a word of thanks to each of you who comes here. I believe we are all pieces of the same thing, even when we disagree on how to get things accomplished, and that when we gather together, whether on the net or in a room, that something passes among us that is more than the sum of our parts. We support and encourage each other and sometimes even love each other. I believe in that love.

52 Boxes from Jason Andrew McHenry

Here's a little pre-Day of the Dead treat for those of you who love assemblages and shrines. For one year, Jason Andrew McHenry created one box a week filled with the most wonderful objects and paintings. If you go to his site you will see why I cannot describe them; they are so various and imaginative and strange. Mesmerizing. He made the skeleton above out of painted fimo. The straw flowers represent the marigolds that mexicans favor to celebrate this holiday. I think the variety of his work is thrilling. You will be inspired to collect and assemble.

The Book Launch Party

Sunday my daughter Shellie and I drove north for four hours to Port Orchard, Washington to attend the launch party for Christmas in Old Tascosa. This is the first book I have illustrated and I think is turned out beautifully, a little gem of a book and a beautiful story of the triumph of hope over the trials of poverty during the 1930's. Casandra Firman is the author and the true story was told to her by her mother. This is Casandra signing books at the party.

Eating, drinking, talking, listening to live music, enjoying the spectacular views of the bay. Friends and neighbors came from near and far to congratulate Casandra and wish the book success.

Casandra reading from the book. We all wanted more. The lives of the people in the story living in the dust bowl days are so different from ours today.

A pensive moment for me - looking out over the bay and thinking about the luxuries we enjoy and how recently people were hungry in this country and frantic to feed their children and provide them with even the most basic needs.




If you look back to the corner you can see dear Shellie patiently standing while I sign books too and take this photograph of her.

It was a very rewarding day and one I will always remember. Collaborating with other artists and helping each other manifest our dreams is the best thing we could ever experience.

My First Love; the Journal

I've been thinking a lot about what I love. I think that is the first thing an artist must define for herself; what is it that thrills her (or him) and fills them with enthusiasm. Life and art are long journeys and take a lot of commitment. If the artist is to be sustained for that journey, she must start with a full measure of love and joy. I have been painting since I was 10 years old now and keeping diaries and journals for even longer than that. I honestly cant explain why I have done it. My mother did it too. She showed me her diaries when I was a child and I knew right away that I would record my days too. It has been an experience that has informed me, helped me navigate and defined my direction at every age.

The only time I faltered in my record keeping was in the aftermath of two devastating life experiences when I temporarily lost my faith. I dont know what I lost faith in. I just know that I felt silenced. I endured this time without the support of my mirror and eventually I began to write and record again and soon life was good and normal.

Recently I have had several people say to me that they wanted to journal but just couldn't get going. Maybe I am wrong but it occurs to me that perhaps it is not an activity that you should force or feel guilty about if it is not a thing you crave to do. I can't imagine forcing it. That would be wrong. If you would rather read or work out or write novels or cook delicious food, then by all means, that is what you should be doing. Grow roses, raise children, hold your lover close and go to the theatre. The journal is only for people who cannot escape the siren's call.

Do you have an opinion on this? I would be interested in hearing it.

Artists of Art and Soul

This week has been a blur of classes at Art and Soul here in Portland and visiting with my great house guest, Carla. Here we are together at Vendor Night at Carla's table. It is always so stimulating to be with the artists who travel from all over the world to gather at these art retreats. My head has been bursting with new ideas, new friends and fresh perspectives on my own place in the larger picture. I almost didn't sit down to write this morning because in this state of mind I'm not sure I can make sense of it yet so I will just introduce some of the artists themselves and then maybe over time the trends and possibilities will sort themselves out. It is heaven hanging out with these enthusiastic women. Ladies, we rock!

Check out the fabulous Ms. Susan Lenart Kazmer in her fresh-from-Paris girdle with the real bones and steel plates and garters and netted skirt. We all laughed in pretend shock at the "underwear" and agreed that only someone like Susan could pull this off. Lesley Riley is on Susan's right and Ramona Ashman is off to the left, presumably taking a picture for her blog too. This was during set-up and before the public had come in so there was time for some schmoozing and fun.

The reason I was able to be behind the scenes at this event is because Laurie Mika asked me to be her helper during the set-up. Laurie is an immensely popular teacher and I just hope she keeps teaching long enough for me to take one of her classes. She has thrilling new projects in the works that I'll let her announce and it was fun hearing about her artistic journey through stages of being an abstract painter, clothing maker, ceramic artist and finally the tile boxes and altars that she is making today. I think many of us who have been at this awhile have similar backgrounds where we have tried many mediums and evolved artistically to where we find ourselves today. We are curious, restless and driven.

Claudine Hellmuth is one of the most popular teachers at these events and the first one I heard about when I learned about art retreats. She is personable, friendly, and her work is just like she is in so many ways. I love her sense of color and line and her funny way of presenting her characters in her collage-paintings. Rumor has it that she wants to take time off from teaching to actually create more; that is the perennial conundrum that we artists face - balancing our time between business, actually creating, family and inner renewal. I think talking about these issues when we do get together is usually reassuring. We usually agree that the balance is always lurching to one side and then the other. And maybe it always will.

I finally got to meet the multi-talented DJ Pettit at this show. Her table was right behind Laurie's so it was a super place to study her fabulous work and get to know a little about her. She designed the logo/banner for this year's Art and Soul and she sells so many tasty items that you will just have to go to her website to see them all. I just know she is a wonderful teacher by talking to her. She prefers smaller classes so she can interact and help each student. She is humble and caring. And her work sings with color and joy.


Finally we have Misty Mawn, the ultra-talented neophyte who leaves us wanting more. I have watched her work and her confidence grow for the past couple of years and it has been a joy to observe. Her dreamy-faced muses are so captivating and mysterious. They remind me of the dewy maidens that I imagine haunted foggy landscapes and castles in the middle ages. Eternally young and hopeful with all of life before them, suspended in that one breathless moment before their lives begin to unfold. That is where I imagine Misty is too with her hands and arms full of the daily cares and demands of her family, full of hope and talent, anticipating what might be coming in her life.

There were so many other artists I could and should be writing about but this is all I can handle for now. The energy in the room last night was so beautiful and loving; I just have to say thank you one more time to every person who I came in contact with. I saw angels; everyone being encouraging and happy and trusting. A little miracle to hold tightly and forever.