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Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Keeping Journals

I am a writer. I've always loved making marks on paper and having them mean something. My mother urged me to keep a diary when I was very young and I have kept up that habit through the good times and bad. It has often been my muse and consolation when grief has visited. When I have a difficult decision I find that just writing about the problem usually leads to a resolution. Writing opens the door in me that leads to what I can only describe as a higher intelligence. So I go there daily to immerse myself for a half hour or so in that pool of tranquility. I emerge refreshed and with a clear direction for the rest of the day.

I am regularly asked to teach painting but the one activity that I consider of greater worth than painting is journaling. It is private, safe and leads directly to the source.



These are my journals for the past 23 years. As a student at the Pacific Northwest College of Art (formerly the Museum Art School in Portland) one of our first requirements was to post regularly in a dedicated journal. I just added the journal to my daily diary writing habit and was off and running. The thing I loved the most was how we were considered "busy" during the day if we were madly scribbling away in the journal. I used that book to hide all my anxieties about being among so many students more gifted than I. Whenever I felt blocked I just whipped out my journal and it was like walking into my own private world where no one could touch me.

The reason I am thinking about journals so much today is because I have just finished the last page in number 16 and will start a brand new one now. For me this is like New Year's Day; I say goodbye to a part of my life that is over and welcome what comes next.

I wonder what will happen to these books when I am gone, filled with my deepest aspirations and my most personal art. I know they will change, drift apart, get lost, be destroyed, join the detritus of the world. I like to imagine them doing that.

3 comments:

Tracie Lyn Huskamp said...

Hi Judy...

I did not have the opportunity to meet you at Artfest... and I am so SAD about that... because your fatbook page was one of my VERY favorites. I have been browsing your new blog and LOVE your posts. I have a website but no blog... and I keep wondering if I should dive in. I know this is a new adventure for you... and was wondering your thoughts about blogging...
Please email me if you get a chance...
Sincerely,
Tracie Lyn Huskamp
TheRedDoorStudio@yahoo.com

kelly rae said...

love your devotion to your beloved journals. i've been journaling since age 14 and my collection of them, my little witnesses of my life, are my most treasured belongings. you are an amazing artist and writer.

Rella said...

Your journal story reminds me of my dear friend who wrote in her journal almost every day......for many, many years. MOre than once she told me during one of our very long phone conversations that if anything every happened to her I was to go immediately to her apartment and gather all her journals and get rid of them. No art, only years of words and emotion. Her life. I was here in AZ when she passed and did not have the opportunity to gather them. I have wondered what became of them. ~ Rella