Getting Up to Speed

I've taken a lot of time off to adjust myself to a changing landscape. My friend points out to me that I live inside my head; she is right of course. I suppose that is an essential part of my nature and something I noticed about my youngest daughter too from an early age. I would hear her in the bath tub singing into a hairbrush microphone and telling stories to herself, living entirely in her little dreamworld.

When life's vagaries intrude on this idyll we have to take time to reposition the mental furniture so to speak. Admit we are not in control of everything. Admit we are subject to to time, luck, deterioration and fate.

I am coming up on an important Birthday in the coming week; one I share with Beatrice Wood, a woman who I count as a friend (though I never met her) and a member of my tribe. Beatrice is mentoring me through this important passage, holding my hand and encouraging me that old age will be grand. She lived to see 105 and told her friends that she didn't believe in time. She presented herself as 32 years old and encouraged her friends to do the same. She loved to flirt. To touch people. I sure do like her.

One thing I'm getting better at is sorting out what is genuine, nurturing and uplifting from what is not. I'm getting better at focusing on what helps and letting go of what ruffles my feathers. Some friends are coming to visit in a few days who always hold up a mirror to me that makes me feel like I've done well in life. We need friends like that. Who encourage us, really listen to us, find us to be excellent. (not perfect. But still excellent.)

If I sound preachy on my blog it is because I am preaching to myself. You are just reading my mind. These are words I need to hear. You are welcome to diverge, to agree or not, to suss out your own path. That's the fun of it. We are each the boss of us. I am not the boss of you.

This is the deplorable state of my studio this morning. The Daphne, Forsythia, Daffodils, Plum Blossoms and Azaleas are blooming gorgeously in my yard and yet this is what I will tackle today. Clean house for company. Renewed optimism. Grateful restoration of my vision. Feeling blessed in so many ways. Eager, excited, thrilled to return to my studio now and bring new revelations to life in my journal and on paper. My canoe is back in the sunshine and the water is calm except for the flicker of an occasional mayfly.

PS If you have time to watch a beautiful video and reflect on body image and our culture's disturbing anti-female messages, go here and scroll down to Jenette Williams's video entitled "The Bathers". I think so much of what makes a woman beautiful is her acceptance of her body, her entire fabulous manifestation. But just watch it and have your own thoughts. Women, we are beautiful.